HAPPY NATIONAL DRINK WINE DAY!
Spilling wine on your brand new shirt
Spilling wine on yourself, let alone red wine, is like a sign from God telling you to just go home. We aren’t talking about a small spill but instead like a total misjudgment from how far your lips and a glass actually should meet and where you can catch yourself about to make a stupid mistake.
Spilling on someone else
What can be worse than spilling wine on yourself? How about spilling on someone else? Yes, you just got a new, full glass of wine and your dog decides it’s a great time to play look how high I can jump and your not impressed, instead you get pushed into the person next to you and they get the wine tasting of a lifetime.
Dropping a wine glass at Happy Hour vs at Home
Out at happy hour with co-workers, including your superiors, and you accidentally drop your wine glass. It shatters and you have now caught the attention of everyone in the bar and that smart ass guy somewhere in the background awkwardly says, “Have another one,” or “I remember my first drink.” As you uncomfortably look for the waitress or wave down the bartender to immediately replace your drink. Now, if you were to do this at home, you’d probably curse a few times, grab a few napkins and blame it on your spouse’s shoes or something, but that doesn’t fly when you’re out in public and all eyes are on you.
Losing your glass of wine at a party
Lets hope someone just picked it up and thought it was a vacant oppose to you being so irresponsible and leaving it unattended so long that it was thrown out. Talk about not being able to find your wallet or keys to the car, this experience can get pretty intense especially if you know there were only 2 bottles left. The best you can do here is wait it out until someone offers you a refill or if you are really ballsy, just go pour yourself another glass.
Mixing other wines with one in particular (let alone mixing with other liquor or even worse… beer)
This can lead to bad things so always try to avoid these types of situations. Mixing other alcoholic drinks with wine basically shouldn’t be done if you have a low tolerance, or have already finished a whole bottle already. It’s such a sin to mix such a tasteful fermented juice made of grapes with beer, vodka & red bull or all those other sugary drinks people drink at night clubs. Drink wine to relax and enjoy a night. On the otherhand, if you are looking to do hoodrat things then I say go for the mixing of all the variety of drinks.
Passing out (wine does makes you sleepy)
We all know that a big effect of wine, especially after a long day, is the relaxing way it just about puts you to sleep. For some of us, we know when enough is enough but notice I said “for some of us,” and that means don’t over do it with the wine because you will find yourself passed out on the bar booth while using coats and jackets around to really get you tucked in.
Staining your teeth
With a great taste comes dirty teeth. Possibly one of the only alcoholic drinks in the world that can give away such an easy clue as to what you have been drinking. Just show us your teeth and it’s all over. If this is a risk you are willing to take, because I know I am, then more power to you. I suppose if you are about to make a move on your date and they see your teeth are red, it may put you in a game time situation which means you need to either accept the kiss, or interrupt the situation and ask for some water for both of you.
Drinking with a person who hates wine
You invite your friend out for a nice wine night, but after the first glass they are rudely asking the bartender to give them a drink list (mind you, you are at a Wine Bar) and demanding shots. You calmly tell them you just want to sit here and enjoy your wine, they begin their guilt trip of “you are so old,” “this is boring,” and the next thing you know they are heading to the club with a new group of friends and you’re in a cab on your way home to watch Friends reruns with a bottle of wine.
Your bottle runs dry and nobody has a corkscrew for the new one
Panic mode sets in and the questions start flaring out! “Well who opened the first bottle and where is the corkscrew now?” Seriously, this is like a sick game of I dropped something so tiny in between my couch and now I can’t find it because it just magically disappeared. Note to self: always put the corkscrew back were you got it from… or you can google ways to open a bottle with one, in which we say… good luck with that.
Forced to chug your wine
“Hurry up, chug your wine, the cab is outside waiting and they are about to leave!” First off, excuse me? Hurry up? Chug your wine? You serious? I am not wasting my wine! Did you just tell me to “pour it back in the bottle?” who does that? Wine isn’t for chugging and hurrying up should never be in the discussion while drinking your wine. End of story!
Accidently drinking old wine that has been left out but no one told you
Unlike Milk, wine doesn’t have a noticeable sticker that says “Good until…” So please beware before you drink random bottle of already opened wine as this can turn a dream of finding some wine into a nightmare.