Winter is almost over and everyone wants to hit the gym to make sure they look good for the summer time. As the New Year Resoultioners are slowly fading on their “Go-To-The-Gym Everyday” resolution, you will start to see the gym clearing up and going back to normal, but until then we all have to deal with that large annoying crowd.
Being enclosed in the gym surrounded by so many people opens up the things you may overlook on a not-so-crowded day. Sometimes annoying, but always comical, we decided to break down the different people you see at the gym on a daily basis. Maybe you’ll realize your one of these people and take initiative to break the habit.
(11). The Talkers
These are the type of people who have to start a conversation with you no matter what. It can simply begin by asking a small question like…”how many reps you have left?” and before you know it they turn it into a whole life story. These outgoing and socially attached people will tell you everything you DON’T want to hear, and totally break your concentration. If you are like us, and hate being rude, most likely you are going to not want to interrupt or say “I’m not interested in this discussion so leave me alone” and pretty much endure it and get stuck listening. All of a sudden your quick & efficient workout has turned into a lazy two hours.
(10). The Over Dedicated Freaks
No matter what time it is you will see these people in the gym sweating and almost appearing as if they’re from another World. They look pale in the face, baggy eyes, and drenched clothes. These people are truly passionate about their body and their equipment and basically live there, which we think is great….until they shoot you the “you don’t know what your doing!” looks and get overprotective of “their” machines. Be aware because they people are not really likable or open for a compliment. Keep your distance and let them do whatever they want…(Just make sure they wipe down the machines after they use it)
(9). The Woman or Man Who Does Zumba, Yoga, Weight Training and Cardio All At The Same Time
Yes, we have seen this. It is very annoying. Not only is there one person taking up half of the space reserved for everyone else but they look completely lost. Let’s just say “not one ounce of sweat was lost that day.” We once saw a woman dancing on top of the stepping ladder then shortly completing the macarena (yes, seriously!) then started doing yoga poses afterwards. What?!
(8). The Electronic Users
Nerd, hipster, ghetto fabulous, or sometimes even the big muscle freaks. You can catch these machine hogging, smartphone users, social media loving obsessors sitting down somewhere in the gym doing nothing…(most likely on the machine you want to use) They spend their time updating a status or texting a friend during their so-called workout. If you’re lucky enough you will even be the featured celebrity in someone’s next Facebook selfie profile photo in the background. Do us all a favor and put the phone down unless you are using it for music and music only! (We also don’t care if you use it on the cardio machine for whatever you please, but seriously, laying on a mat in the stretching area texting is NOT a workout!)
(7). The Creepers
I’m sure you can all relate to a gym creep attempting to make eye contact with you or watching you as you workout and really start to freak you out. These creeps live in every gym and love to stare, follow, and/or even try to talk to you. Be aware of these people as they can sometimes last for at least 2 months before they get the hint there is no chance or a new prey comes along. If a creep continues to harass you, next steps should be to let a manager know so they can put his imagination to rest but watch out because sometimes gym managers can be even bigger creeps. (Also- please don’t be like the girl at our gym…drenched in sweat, hugging all the guys, and yes, seriously sometimes even engaging in a quick makeout session with different men!)
(6). The Confused and Random Roamers of the Gym Wondering why They are Working Out In the First Place
Confused, lost, and clueless. Why they are at the gym…we have no idea, nor do they. If you want to lose weight, get bigger, or just get into a good fitness routine….come prepared to the gym or find a trainer. We love seeing new faces and seeing people dedicate themselves to bettering their health, but you waste more time guessing what to do next and not doing it right then actually working out. We are not going to lie…but we feel bad for the gym goers who look lost. Okay well maybe not that bad since sometimes you are the people hogging up some of the equipment or machines and taking up space where we like to do our squats. Really? No bicep curling in the squat rack guys! This has become an epidemic and must be stopped!
(5). The Boyfriend and Girlfriend
Oh how romantic. Seriously? We are not saying it’s bad to go together (we do it- and it’s good to have the motivation) but don’t make it into an actual date. No kissing, no flirting, no lame acts of romance. Encouragement is wonderful and appreciated but if you guys are there not getting things done, or not actually working out, then don’t bother coming in at all. Trust us. This is for your own good. Potential arguments like (guy watching another girl working out and getting caught, guy catching another dude checking out his girl, or girl lifting more than guy and other guys at gym laughing at you) all of these are not good.
(4). The Two Girls Who Come In Together So They Can “Check-In” on Facebook Together
You never know what you are going to get when two gals walk into the gym. This could be good or bad. We have seen it all from side conversations about their night out, how hungover they are or even how much they work out and are in great shape (even though it does not look like they are). Let’s put it this way, if you are not there to push your friend and work out with a purpose then it might be better to stop wasting your time at the gym and just make a double date to the mall or movies.
(3). The Group of Guys That Never Leave Each Other’s Side
Imagine this, you get to the gym and it is so crowded you can’t move or even find an actual area to attempt to get a workout in but then you see one little spot open and you walk over but as you are approaching your destination a gang of guys walk over and claim that space. Now, you are not mad about it too much since you think they will utilize the space the right way but then all you see is them chatting and slowly rotating in and out of the 5 different guys. So kiss this opportunity to workout today goodbye because that group of dudes will be there for 2 hours never breaking a sweat or achieving any type of accomplished workout.
(2). The Loud Grunters and Moaners Who Want the World to Know They are Working Out
You can be fat, skinny, muscular, fit or whatever but there is never a reason to be as loud as a person experiencing a slow death like from a scene in Saw. The is no reason for someone to be grunting or moaning loud at all. Like why? What does this help you with? Is this a different language?
Look, we get it, trust us! We understand everyone has their own way of working out and releasing exhaustion but really… ? Stop being so loud! Maybe one loud huff and puff at an end of a set or that last rep you put up but come on now… not every rep, not every breathe. It’s not attractive. It doesn’t make you look tough, strong or better than anyone else. You look stupid and everyone in the gym would like to shove a 5 pound plate your mouth.
(1). Juice Heads
Yup, of course this is our number one. Any gym that you go to, they are there. These guys throw out words like “bro”, “chief” ,
“son”, in every sentence and you can’t miss it. They love giving everyone their secrets of how they got so jacked and what they do to keep such a great body. They will probably be wearing nipple shirts (which are tank tops that barely cover their nipples) They claim to workout by the book and do everything the right way so if they see you working out incorrectly they will fix your posture or form. They love to try to intimidate gym goers but realistically these guys are non-violent soft girly men who enjoy trying to look tough rather than just be themselves. Some are good and some aren’t.
Now if you run into a woman juice head…then you are in trouble. We don’t quite have a name for these women but be aware that they are out there and love attacking people the same way.